a late Mother’s Day post.

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If you are reading this and are one of my Facebook friends, then you have already realized that I am obsessed with this session of my daughter and I. My husband is absolutely wonderful and caught the most precious moments! I mean he should have because he took over 500 pictures in about thirty minutes, ha. But I didn’t mind sorting through them because there are too many to love!

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This post is only about a week late due to recovering this past week. I will try and give a short version of our long trip home.

This past weekend I decided to venture out alone with our (almost) ten month old baby. One of my closest cousins graduated from Mississippi State and I really wanted to be there to cheer her on and celebrate her accomplishment. Nathan recently got a new job that wasn’t going to allow him to go with me and I didn’t think Lilly and I would survive a nine+ hour drive alone. So a one hour flight seemed like the perfect way to go!

We had no issues getting there, and honestly wouldn’t have had any coming home if it wasn’t for the weather. We were suppose to arrive home Saturday evening at a reasonable time, allowing us to catch up on rest for an eventful Mother’s Day. When we should up to the airport, upon check-in we found out our flight was delayed an hour. No big deal. By the time we made it to the gate is was cancelled. Standing there with a back-pack, diaper bag, and baby strapped to my chest, you better believe the tears were flowing. After four great but long days of doing the “single parent” thing (I commend all you single parents out there! It is tough work! You deserve a giant cookie. Everyday.) and so desperately wanting to be home with my husband, then the words “we are all booked tomorrow, what about Monday?” I about lost it. Oh, and my sweet little girl was throwing a huge fit and crying while I am trying to get things sorted. I tried my hardest to keep it together, but the tears pushed past. I wanted to be with Nathan. I wanted to be home for Lilly’s baby dedication at church. I wanted to spend Mothers Day with our Mothers. Instead I was told it “might be Monday” that I make it home. But in the end we (by the grace of God) made it onto that first flight out, but it took about an extra seven hours to make it home due to the weather. And although my first Mother’s Day didn’t look as I had planned, I am still grateful for getting to go see family, love on new baby cousins, and make it home safely to my husband.

Therefore, I needed about a week to recover and rest and do nothing. Of course that’s not what happened. But I am not complaining about the busy-ness. I love that we always have something and somewhere to go and people to love on/love on us. And I will admit that I am having to learn to say NO and not feel bad. We don’t always have to go and do. But that’s another story.

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So this post: what I’ve learned about being a momma thus far.

As you all know, before even finding out that I was pregnant I was having some serious baby fever. I wanted Lilly (a baby) so bad. So to say my heart was full upon finding out I was pregnant is a serious understatment. You always hear people say “you never knew you could’ve something so small, so much” but quickly after having a baby you learn just how true that is. Even after the pain I went through to have her and the nine months of my body growing/stretching to create her, I felt like I already knew her so well. There would be times in the car that I would be praying for/with her and have my hand on my belly and just bust into tears because I already loved her so much and felt so close to her.

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A few things that I just absolutely love about her:
Her love for others. Lilly loves loves loves new people and new friends. She loves to play with everyone.
I love how happy she always is! It is very rare that she has a fussy day or is that fussy in general. Unless she’s hungry, but who doesn’t that apply to 😉
Her silly sounds/facial expression. This girl LOVES to entertain and make others laugh.
How she looks at me when I get her in the morning. Sleep training was HARD, y’all. I put it off for months. It was seriously the best thing we could have done for Lilly and us though.

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There have been challenging moments as well:
Such as her two month sleep regression… Oh the sleepless nights. It was in those nights I knew that sleep training was in our near future. We did the co-sleeping thing till she was about 6 1/2 months old and I don’t regret it for one second. Cuddling with my two loves were some of our best moments so far. But when it became a problem and Lilly was wanting to eat every 1-2 hours and absolutely would not take a bottle, then something needed to change.
Speaking of not taking a bottle, that was a challenge in itself. She probably would still be sleeping with us if Nathan could have fed her.
Also, being distracted while feeding. This has been going on for about six months now. Nathan can’t even be in the same room and I can’t even talk or hardly make any noises. Or feeding time is over and it’s play time. Diva baby?
And lastly,  our journey with cloth diapers. Figuring out what works best for her sensitive little bum and trying to rid her of the constant rashes from synthetic materials. Poor girl. But we have finally found something that works! Cloth diapers is a whole post in itself.

I know there are loads of other challenges with having a new baby, those were just a few to name. The sleepless nights, the zombie days, the financial slap in the face when you realize how expensive a tiny thing is. But the little hugs, slobbery kisses, and sweet cuddles make it all worth it.

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But when it comes down to it: you do what’s best for your baby. And that really does look so different for every family. Because really, babies are silly and mostly unpredictable. They don’t do things to ruin your life. They don’t intentionally stay awake so that you don’t get sleep. Or have accidents on you so that you get to “rock” spit-up and/or diaper explosions on your cute outfit. They are BABIES. Therefore the fruits of the spirit (at least in my life) are the utmost of importance. I encourage you all to surround yourself with people who will point you towards Jesus when our energy and spirits are running low.

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What have I learned about myself?
That I am not always right.
I must be patient, kind, loving, joyful, slow to anger, gentle, and be gracious in all circumstances.
How crucial it is for me to make time for Jesus everyday. I am none of those things above if I am not waking up to grace and spending time with Him and in His Word. It truly does make a difference in my attitude and how I treat everyone that I interact with that day. And this was hard to do at first. You walk around not knowing what day it is or when the last time you showered was. But things do settle down and finding a time that works, even if it’s five minutes, the Lord still honors that time and uses it. My heart needs Jesus daily.
The importance of being flexible. For us, we will probably never be on time again. And I am learning to accept that. Before leaving the house an outfit of one of our family members will probably have to be changed, another diaper, and the diaper bag repacked. Aka- shoving more things into it to make it even bigger than it already is.
Allow for a messy house. There will always be toys strung out, clothes half folded/sitting on the couch until guest are coming over. At that point they are moved to the bedroom, not to be put away but to be set on the bed. Then to be moved to the floor that night saying “i’ll put them up tomorrow”. Which they will then stay there until you have a mountain of clean clothes piled on the floor. Is this just us? Oh well. I am learning to embrace it.
And lastly, the sacrifice of my time and my body. Due to nursing, which I totally love and encourage, (but also do what works best for YOU) then my body wasn’t only shared for those nine months while Lilly was on the inside but is still being shared and not completely mine yet.
And learning that things will change and look different, but how important it is that you still love yourself. You created life and brought it into this world, do not be down on yourself for your post-baby body to not look exactly like your pre-baby body did.
Be joyful and love yourself.

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Thank you Jesus for allowing me to be this sweet girls momma.

xoxo

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